listen to these audios to catch a breath
essential questions for self care, poem about community, 5 min. meditation
deep breaths.
It’s Monday. We can do this.
caring for ourselves in time of weariness
During the thick of the pandemic in 2020 I showed up to my therapy session over Zoom one evening not wanting to be there. Work was too much, marriage was falling apart, worries about my parents consumed every space in my head. I wasn’t ready to open up just yet because this was a new relationship. I expected her to open up that session by asking me how things were going. But, she asked me if I had anything to eat. I haven’t- which is rare for me.
I have no idea why that broke me, but it did. I cried and couldn’t stop.
I will not forget that simple reality check of how often we neglect basic care for ourselves in times when we need it the most.
This photo was from 2020, visiting my bother-in-law, sister-in-law, dog niece outside with at least 6 feet apart. We can never tell from looking at other people’s photos but when they are our own, we know how we were really doing.
One of the biggest lessons I learned in the past few years is that I will not allow myself to get lost - lost in the busyness, lost in the unknown, lost in grief- even. Because when we are lost in one thing, it is all consuming. One way to do this is coming back to the basics. And in these small ways, it’s like looking in the mirror again and saying to yourself,
oh, there you are. I see you now.
Let’s see how we feel once we have taken care of our basic needs. Sometimes, it’s all that is needed to feel a little bit better, a little more like ourselves again. I hope these questions help you to check-in and see where you can care for yourself.
questions for checking-in with ourselves:
When was the last time I drank water?
When was the last time I ate food? (hopefully something nutritious and delicious)
When was the last time I got fresh air?
When was the last time I moved my body?
(I try not to use the word “exercise” or “workout” in my vocabulary because it assumes it needs to look a certain way. I like to think about it as movement in some way)
When was the last time I connected with a friend in real life?
When was the last time I slept well?
When was the last time I laughed?
(It may not be a basic need, but doesn’t it feel good to laugh? Doing more of the things that make us genuinely smile and laugh)
love may be the only way we get through anything
I wrote this poem as a reminder for myself and for the Asian American community as we sit in grief over Monterey Park and Half Moon Bay. I shared it on my instagram in a video form, but wanted to share it with my newsletter community in audio. Feel free to listen to it whenever you need some comfort and hope. Let it be a reminder of people in our lives that keep us hoping.
Whatever you may be facing today, I hope these words shed a flicker of light in the darkness and keep us brave in letting each other in, letting love in.
we turn to love, a poem. (click on link to listen. try downloading if it doesn’t work)
when our love is great our grief is greater
and with this grief, we do what we know how to do
we love, by taking care of each other
we rest, by taking care of each other
we grieve, by taking care of each other
we hope, by taking care of each other
we take care of ourselves by taking care of each other
when we don’t know what to do
we turn to love.
5 minute meditation to help you relax
This meditation is called body scan because it is about paying attention to where you hold tension and allow those places to fall instead of withholding. You can be seated, but this one is created for laying down so I hope you give it a try. It’s especially nice for the nighttime before bed. I usually guide this one for 10 minutes or so, so this one is shorter than typical, but thought it would be a good start for those who are new. I had fun recording this. I purposely did not use any background music because we are bombarded with noise all day, we can all use a bit of silence. It’s okay if silence feels awkward for you- that is normal.
Come back to it any time when you need a moment to take a breath from your day. All you need is 5 minutes, but you are encouraged to stay laying down for as long as you like.
how to prepare for the meditation-
quiet space with no interruptions
comfortable clothes so you can fully relax
Because this is a short one, I highly encourage you to find some stillness for a few minutes before you do the meditation to help you get settled.
optional: blanket over you if you get cold easily. After the meditation, it’s really nice to drink something warm.
guided body scan meditation here (click on link. try downloading if it doesn’t work)
what’s next: a series on human love
I don’t have a tradition of really celebrating Valentine’s Day outside of sending some treats to my nephew, but I do appreciate the nudge to show love. For the month of February, I will be dedicating each week on the topic of love and relationships: from parent and sibling love, marriage, friendships, self, etc.
sending you strength,
kyunghee