Hello friends,
Thank you for joining me in this new space. Every single person who subscribes, opens up their inbox, and reads long form content - thank you. This one is more of an intro.
Here is what you can expect from this space, in general.
Each week I will share my thoughts on what has caught my heart through what I am learning, wondering about, noticing, or based on a conversation I had, along with a piece of advice to consider and a poem to take with you through the week.
With anything new, I am taking it one step at a time, without perfection, and just going for it. And letting it evolve.
why late bloomers club
At the age of 42 years young, life for me has been both predictable and unpredictable, complicated and simple, bitter and bright.
I am a late bloomer. You might be one too. And, if we are truly honest, it is not because we aren’t motivated or lost. I have come to notice that one of the biggest reasons is that we are far more concerned about letting others down than we are about letting ourselves down.
We are committed to other people’s dreams and expectations for us even if it goes against our own. So, time goes on and we come to realize that the thing we are doing, investing our time in, is actually not the way we want to live after all. We are crystal clear on what our parents want, what our partners want, what our friends want - from us, but blurry on what we want.
Living life this way is guilt driven and trust me, as an Asian American, I know plenty about guilt.
Others will always be good at telling us what should be important. That we can’t control. But, we can learn to turn the volume down a bit- or a lot.
our greatest asset
What would you say is your greatest asset?
I am here to tell you it’s not what you think it is.
There is one single thing that sets you apart from every single person in the room. Every single person in any room. Your personal experiences. No person has the exact same story as you do. Your personal life story is your greatest asset.
I am wondering how you feel right now reading these lines. Hesitant, discouraged, comforted, inspired, relief. I know sometimes
it may feel like more of a burden than an asset. I hear you.
But, your story and you are not a burden.
A newer friend reached out to me recently because of a great loss in his life. We talked about the adjustments he’s been having to make in his daily life and this friend asked for my input. One of my first thought was “He is much older and wiser than me. Who am I to offer anything?” My friend reminded me that I have experienced great loss and have learned to live without.
He’s talking about the brave attempt at IVF and adoption that is part of my story. We had to redefine what it means to be a family for us. Sorrow remains. It’s not something you will know from reading my resume.
You may have painful chapters in your story too. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. So, where does that leave us then?
It leaves us with scars
and after a while, a long while, within these scars will breed a new dream. Maybe not a better dream, but there will be renewal. Old scars and new dreams can exist together.
It doesn’t matter if you moved through the hard things gracefully or not, with or without gratitude. The strength, vulnerability, courage, knowledge, empathy gained through your personal experiences is what qualifies you to take that next step, jump, or leap. No matter what your professional background says.
I want to leave you with this question that you may want to think about, journal about, or have a conversation about this week:
What part of your personal story stands out to you as something you can be proud of? And how can this particular experience provide you with grace, rest, or courage today?
I hope for you a restful week.
with gentleness,
kyunghee
Proud to be part of the late bloomers club. For years I would shame myself for not having things figured out or not walking the trodden path that the society wants us to. But in that process I no longer knew who I was and what I wanted. So I recently looked back on all the things I thought were my failures but in fact they all helped me get to this point where I can boldly say I know how I want to continue living this life and I will. Excited to be here :)