Here in the midwest, September is a month of the in-between as we say goodbye to late summer nights and anticipate for the crisp air to make it feel like a fresh new start to a new season. Something about a new month marks a renewal of being able to dream again
and in the same breath, grieving over things undone, unaccomplished, unrealized from the previous 31 days. This is the gift and curse of how we view new months. Can you relate? But what if-
we start to see beginning of new months as a time to continue with what we’ve been able to plant and see it grow. A new month doesn’t have to be new goals and new standards. A new month can be a continuation, an extension, a reflection of how do I want to continue to invest?
Something special about my neighborhood are these fairy doors that are all over outside of people’s homes. I spotted this one back in May when it was only the fence. Weeks after, more things were added like the fairy door and toy plant. A few weeks ago in late August, I noticed the pile of rocks. I wonder what they might add next?
Much like the lives we are building and living reminds me of this ever changing fairy landscape. Not all things are done at the same time. Sometimes, what’s there first may not make sense like when I only saw the fence. It’s not until brick by brick, intention by intention, effort by effort, you are adding to the landscape and soon, it’s making sense.
So to say that a new month must contain all new goals and standards is to dismiss how far you have already come-
what you have built already.
I shared these affirmations on my Instagram recently as I was reflecting on new ways of how we approach new seasons.
Rather than asking myself, “What is the goal for this month?” or “What do I want to accomplish this month?”, I am approaching it with these questions that I am already finding it more whole-listic, big picture focused, compassionate way to live-
“What does investing look like right now?”
“What do I want to continue to invest in?”
“Where does investing need to take a pause for the time being?”
There is nothing wrong with setting goals, but it can steer us wrong because it has a list mindset of checking off the list without the big picture in mind. And, sometimes, it can be an easy way out of moving on to the next thing, even though the thing you want to actually invest in is what you’ve been doing, but it’s getting hard or steps aren’t clear, so you want out. I hear you.
courage to not start over
As a recovering perfectionist, I learned that in order to let go of trying to be perfect, I am learning to let go of trying to please people,
including myself.
When you are a perfectionist, there is this habit of starting over. What you started isn’t good enough. Time for a new journal to start fresh. Anyone else?
I want us to take inventory of what’s already been invested and how we might continue on with what’s already good. This is the courage to not start over, but to continue. Make changes if needed, adjust what needs to, but don’t discredit your story, your journey, your progress.
I recently had a thought of how I should have approached this whole newsletter thing differently when I started. I wanted to go back and delete some posts that aren’t “good enough” and even thought, “Why did I even write that?” with feelings of embarrassment. Have you had those thoughts too, personally or professionally? This is how we try to erase the miles we have walked in our journey.
Yes, it takes courage to quit when it’s not the right fit, and
it takes courage to keep going knowing that mistakes and the unknown future are inevitable- yet, you keep going because you just have to see what’s out there.
The courage to not start over is to say this part- this messy-stagnant-uncomfortable part,
belongs in your story, too.
words for celebrating how far you’ve come
I hope you continue to invest in yourself, whatever that means for you. I hope these words give you comfort and strength for the month:
all the million moments led me here and i am proud of myself.
i choose to be whole, not perfect.
new experiences are waiting for me.
it is not too late for me.
i give myself permission to go at my own pace.
sharing some news!
I am happy to share that I am now taking clients for one-on-one grief coaching. This is an area in which I have personal experience with so I am deeply invested in helping others. I have experience with leading grief workshops where creative tools like writing can be a way to process and connect. While we grieve over a death of a loved one, grief comes in many forms like strained friendships, end of a relationship, leaving a job, etc. Please get in touch if you know of anyone who might be interested.
If you would like to receive weekly news like this, you can upgrade to be a paid supported. Until then, see you next month. Thank you so much for reading and connecting here.
I hope you have a September that feels whole and not just busy, slow as much as eventful, and room for good surprises.
love,
kyunghee
Hi!! I love all of this. It resonates with my own journey right now for sure. “And, sometimes, it can be an easy way out of moving on to the next thing, even though the thing you want to actually invest in is what you’ve been doing.” This quote really hit home for me.
Thank you--also, I would love to learn more about your grief workshops snd grief work in general (but also about you!). Whats the best way to connect?