Maybe it’s a combination of coming down from the high of publishing my first book and now into my new normal of trying to make it as a writer, speaker, and coach which sounds cool from afar, but let me tell you there are days I miss the security of 9-5 even with its own challenges. And perhaps, this is why it’s called reality. I saw this beautiful swan and from afar, it looked so peaceful. As it came closer, I noticed what was happening beneath the water. It was frantic swimming.
The picture looks different from up close and you start to notice what you didn’t notice before- all the little details you can’t see from afar.
And this is when most of us are tempted to quit. I don’t say this lightly because if you know me, you know that I am a big believer in quitting what doesn’t align and I also believe in the freedom to trying things out. Quitting takes courages, too. But-
are you okay if you were to give it up right now? If you aren’t sure how to exactly answer this question, I come back to this practice that is simple, yet so profound.
Imagine yourself 10 years older than today and ask yourself this question:
“What would the _____ (age here) old me say about this?”
Right now the 54 years old Kyunghee would say, “Aren’t you curious to know if you continued?” And the answer is 100% yes. Of course this answer alone doesn’t take away the reality of barriers, what it will take, the actual work, and even the result of my efforts. But, what it gives me is clarity on where I am today, and today I want to continue.
Whatever it is that you started that’s new or it’s been ongoing with very little movement (personally or professionally), are you still curious to know where it might lead? If you are, I hope you keep going. How we keep going is the question we can’t ignore.
So while the picture of what it means to be a freelance writer and artist is no longer this peaceful, graceful, confident looking swan but more like a frantically paddling swan with hope, focus, and eagerness, I wonder if there is a way for the experience to be a bit calmer.
How do we keep going, without being in survival mode underneath the surface?
how to keep going without being frantic
The act of taking care of ourselves is to put love at the center of our care in the mundane. It’s beyond bubble baths and facials although we love those too. It’s the small, tiny things we can add to our days.
Rather than resorting back to self-care practices that you know of, try asking yourself this question instead-
“what feels like a gift?”
This question randomly stirred in my heart this week while on a beautiful date with my friend. Knowing how full her life is with lots of moving parts and responsibilities, I was overwhelmed by this time together. This kind of unhurried time is rare. I can only describe it as a gift.
(long walk together, 3/2024)
I wonder if this might be one of the ways we keep going when aspects of our lives are uncertain or difficult-
we give ourselves tiny gifts.
For me, what feels like a gift? Gift of time with my loved ones. Maybe for you, it’s watching your favorite show once a week, or finding a way to volunteer for a cause you care about, or regularly being able to invest in a hobby, etc. It can be anything as long as it feels like a gift to YOU- for you.
It’s like taking a vitamin - giving us energy, calm, and joy we need to keep going.
It’s your turn, what feels like a gift? And how can you gift yourself this gift?
updates
* I led two creative writing workshops at the local nonprofit, GrieveWell this year so far. It’s been an honor to create a space where people can explore their stories openly.
*In January, I had the privilege of being part of my friend and very talented artist, Chien-An Yuan’s, album launch at the Ann Arbor District Library by creating and reading a poem for his latest album. You can watch the entire show here if you want to. I think my poem is at the 42 min mark. I did make a mistake in the beginning, but oh well. I am terrified in front of people, but also find it exhilarating. Any chance to use my voice for the good, I am grateful.
*I have three paid speaking engagements coming up in May that I am grateful for. It’s all that coaching from Camille Pagan who helped me to see my worth. There might also be a few creative poetry collaborations in the near future with some people I admire.
*My friend’s second novel is coming out in just a few weeks! Check out to see if she has an event near you! A.H Kim is delightful, witty, and warm. I love being in her company and her writing is equally witty and delightful.
Thank you for reading & supporting my work. Sending you gentleness,
Kyunghee