I think I may have cracked the code on how to receive and give more love.
My husband’s love language is physical touch and words of affirmation and mine is quality time. And for a long time, I felt disconnected because I wasn’t receiving the love that I wanted. For many of us, we tend to give the love we want to receive.
This was the case for my parents and I, too. I didn’t see the love they had for me because I was so focused on how I wanted to receive it. They couldn’t make time for me because they worked long hours, but they showed their love in other ways. Working long hours to provide for us was their act of service which turned out, it was their love language for me. Of course I was too young to see it.
Once I saw the love that was there, I was able to see their love for me more often.
What about you- do you think you would see more love around you if you accepted it as love?
beyond the five languages
The Five Love Languages may help us in better understanding each other’s needs and ways of communicating, but it’s not an exclusive list.
In many ways, love is nuanced. How do you categorize a love of a friend who stays on the phone with you until you are feeling a little less anxious, or a sister who sends you one sentence texts that only you and her understand, or a parent you share an awkward meal with because there is nothing but silence between you two.
These are examples of love that can’t be categorized, yet they are languages of love. Language that says “I care about you”.
Maybe, we can learn other ways of showing love that resonates with the other person and be offered grace and acceptance for the love we show that is natural to who we are.
Perhaps it’s a little bit of both. Maybe that’s meeting in the middle. Maybe this is how we learn to see each other more clearly.
something to think about for the week
Is it more important to demand the love you want, or open your heart to the love that is already there?
Pay attention to the love that comes your ways this week by rephrasing “I only wish they did this” to “ They care about me by _______.”
have a love-filled week,
kyunghee