how full is your calendar?
reflections on margins, experiencing spontaneity, and courage to plan less
By nature I am a planner. I get up at the same time everyday, on most days without an alarm. I thrive on rituals. I still use a pen and paper planner over technology and it goes where I go. But, in recent years I’ve been craving a different rhythm, a change in lifestyle.
I craved unpredictability and blank space on my calendar. Blank spaces on my calendar used to make me think I am not productive enough because don’t we all just love saying, “I am so busy”. Busyness is a badge of honor in our culture. Maybe I have grown out of this mentality or I am more sure of who I am than to prove to others how busy, how popular I am. Or, maybe it has exhausted me to the point of no joy. I think it’s all these reasons. Can you relate?
These days, I am done running the rat race of time and productivity. Because if we are really honest, some things may be productive work, but it may not be soulful work.
The main reason I am wanting blank space in my life is to create room for surprises, spontaneity, and ultimately meeting the moment.
Everyone talks about being present and how we need more of it. But, is this possible if every single minute of our days are planned out?
How do we meet the moment when it interrupts our calendars?
blank spaces allows for spontaneous moments and joy
Creating margin is hard. And it doesn’t just happen. Planning to not plan takes effort and intention. Of course we all have scheduling constraints like strict work hours, kids to take care of, homes to maintain, and other responsibilities. And of course there are seasons when life is just really full. At the same time, I wonder about the other things we are involved in - things we either voluntarily do or do out of guilt. These are choices we make. That means, there is also a choice of saying no.
January 1st isn’t the only time we are allowed to reprioritize and trim down. We can revisit our calendar any time of the year. Ever since I created more margin in my schedule, I am having more fun. Having fun never used to be a priority of mine- I am an adult, it’s time to be serious, right? Having fun is for kids. But it isn’t. And I have more meaning in my life.
For example, when a friend calls for an impromptu hang out or needs to talk, I can because I have margin. When I had a long week and want to spend the weekend resting, I can because I created that space of no plans. When I miss my nephew, I call him in that moment. When I go out for a walk without a time constraint, I take time to notice my surroundings and it becomes a self-care practice rather than a thing to check off the box. Have you missed a moment you really wanted to be part of because of your over scheduled calendar? I have.
Unscheduled, unplanned, blank spaces in our lives allows us to meet the moment for what it calls for. Because moments aren’t planned. Life happens all the time.
I guess I was tired of my life that was too planned where everyday felt the same. Although life is still very predictable because of restraints like work and home responsibilities, intentionally having less plans is allowing certain interactions, relationships, and events happen naturally. Over scheduling may have us miss out on some surprises. Surprises that can only come when there is space for it.
Don’t get me wrong. I schedule gatherings with people because I know that’s how we actually see each other and that’s important. And while I am constantly seeking writing opportunities where I can, I don’t over commit. Perhaps this means missing out on some opportunities, but I am choosing to lead a life that is bit different than most. I need space to breathe and space to let the moment surprise me.
words for when you need courage to make room for blank space
Unplanned time can feel difficult, maybe even uncomfortable. Stillness can be hard. Quiet can be hard. Quiet can make us feel unproductive.
But, it’s also where magic happens. We can experience fun and meaning. Busyness is not a way to seek meaning. It’s a false sense of validation we keep going back for.
Where in your week can you experience some blank space? Whether it’s 30 minutes or an hour, I hope you are encouraged to carve out some unscheduled time for-
anything that moment may bring, unplanned.
It’s important to look at our calendars and see where we can trim. Try making a list of all that is on your plate and categorize it by “musts” and “choices”. Outside of our individual responsibilities, everything really is a choice even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Here are words to carry with you when you need extra courage to create room to do nothing:
busyness won’t validate my self worth. it will only make me more exhausted.
productive work isn’t always soulful work.
i will not allow busyness to create a false sense of significance. i am already enough.
creating margin in my life is saying yes to joy and surprises.
i can be more present if i have space to just be.
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have a peaceful week,
Kyunghee