The day I was patiently waiting for since spring of 2021.
I vividly remember the day I announced the cover reveal and release date of my book, See Us Bloom. After countless rounds of edits, this was the day when my dream becomes a reality. Nerves and butterflies filled my stomach and heart. The anticipation.
Then it happened. Cover was revealed. My publisher announced it. I announced it. The thrill, the gratitude, and support was real. What was also real was the very ordinary day I was having in real time.
While there was a tiny celebration going on in the online space with online friends in another world and texts from friends, in real life it was just another hectic and full day as a teacher. I was at school teaching. Chattering of kids, rumbling of their feet as they walked (or ran) in the hallways, assuring voices of teachers teaching, announcements over the PA system, noise of the copy machine going off at all times - all the same.
When Leo and I went out to dinner that evening, I was finally able to take it in and actually get excited- feeling that I was holding back at work because I had a job to do. I was overjoyed, grateful, and proud. At the same time, it also felt normal.
( photo: 11/3/2022. book release announcement day. heading to dinner. overjoyed, grateful, tired, all the feelings)
When the thing you wanted for so long - that career after years of studying, project that took you away from time with your family now worth the sacrifice, finally moved to that city you have been dreaming about -
is finally here and it feels both extraordinary and ordinary, it’s a strange feeling.
My very ordinary feeling about my book release announcement let me down. And I thought, “oh, that’s it?”, “I thought it would feel different.” I was embarrassed because I thought this meant I wasn’t grateful, but I was. I am. extremely grateful. very much excited.
This ordinary feeling though, is completely normal and one we rarely talk about.
4 unexpected lessons when our endeavors are realized
I learned 4 valuable lessons about the journey of endeavors we devote our hearts and time to:
We can’t possibly anticipate all the emotions that might arise when the thing happens. no emotion is bad - excitement, pride as well as nervousness, tiredness, even feelings of ordinary.
When we feel let down by the level of our excitement and magic of the moment that was actually met with less than what we had imagined, let it be a kind reminder that this is one part to our expansive story-to our life, but it isn’t our entire life because we are more than one project, one piece of work, one job - even one dream.
We can be grateful and let it take up a lot of space when needed, and let it sync into the rhythm of our regular everyday life as it will.
We might actually grieve over the dreaming and planning part of the journey. We experience this because we are moving into another part in the journey and that means change.
advice for when the “honeymoon” stage of a dream fades and how to keep the joy alive.
So when it finally happens, I hope you feel a sense of pride. I hope you take time to be in that moment. And later, there will come a time when the thrill of it all subsides and
new emotions of “this feels so normal” seeps in. Know that this too, belongs. Both the mountain tops and the plains are part of the process. When it slowly shifts its place from the thing to one of many things that demand your attention, time, and care,
it doesn’t mean it’s no longer important. It actually means your life is made up of many things and life continues on with it.
As for me, I am excited about my book and I also feel ordinary about it too. I no longer see it as me being ungrateful, but the experience has shown me that life goes on.
One way in keeping the joy alive when we move into this phase of coming down from the mountain top is engaging with the work in a new way, instead of being so quick to move onto the next thing. For me, this looks like two things right now-
prioritizing fun
for example, reading for fun and not for research- fun keeps the joy alive. Fun allows us to see things in a new light.
letting it breathe. take a break.
Letting it breathe might mean moving away from it a bit, or figuring out how it can be part of your life, not let it be THE life.
Let it breathe. Letting it breathe keeps the joy alive. Hovering over anything just stifles it.
And remember, no matter how much we may want to be defined by the thing that brings us happiness or purpose - in the end, it is reassuring to know we aren’t defined by just one thing.
sending you peace this week,
- kyunghee